Four-year-old Jason is your average American expat child. He loves Bob the Builder, Dora the Explorer and gets really excited when American Idol is on. He lives in an expat enclave in Jinqiao. His first language is English. And while he hasn\u2019t started on Mandarin formally yet, his parents Robert and Holly Hulse expect he will when he starts kindergarten at an international school next year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, Jason is your average American kid. What makes his story different is that he was born in Pudong to Chinese parents and put up for adoption. The Hulses (who are Caucasian) adopted him at eight months old. So Jason is ethnically Chinese growing up as an American expat in China with his ethnically European parents and siblings. Now say that 10 times fast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe will truly be a hybrid-culture child,\u201d says dad, Robert Hulse. And it\u2019s true in more ways than one. Not only is he essentially a \u201cthird culture kid\u201d as an American in China, he\u2019s Chinese growing up American in China.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are a number of expat families raising adopted Chinese children in Shanghai \u2013 though it\u2019s not necessarily by design. For Americans Randi Ponek and her husband, raising their daughters in Shanghai has been purely coincidental. \u201cIt\u2019s just that this is where the jobs are,\u201d she says. Living in their children\u2019s birth culture is, to Ponek, simply an added bonus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Regardless of where they reside, families brought together through international adoption have to deal with questions of culture. What aspects of their children\u2019s birth culture should they transmit? How should they teach it? Some even ask whether they should teach it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And, of course, all families have to deal with the usual innocently insensitive questions. Queries from friends and classmates like \u201cWhat are you?\u201d And \u201cWhy didn\u2019t your real mom keep you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But families raising a child in that child\u2019s birth culture must grapple with cultural questions in a much different way than those who adopt abroad and return to their home country.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For one, they have to contend with the local population. \u201cWe\u2019re barraged with questions,\u201d says Ponek. \u201cThey look at us and say, \u2018Your kids look Chinese.\u2019 They think your husband is Chinese. They\u2019re astounded that 5,000 Chinese children per year go to the U.S.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And it brings up the question of identity \u2013 both cultural and national \u2013 at an earlier age. \u201cIt forces the question of, \u2018Are you Chinese or American?\u201d says Ponek. \u201cIt forces the issue of talking about the adoptive status more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In response, Ponek says they have worked with their children on \u201cowning their story\u201d earlier than they might have at home. Owning their story means understanding how their family came together and being able to explain it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even so, Ponek says her older daughter will still sometimes say, \u201cI don\u2019t know what I am.\u201d But she\u2019s comfortable with her own story and that\u2019s the important part. \u201cOur kids are here and understand China.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But perhaps the most debatable \u2013 and thought-provoking \u2013 question for families with children from China is how much Chinese culture is appropriate for their Chinese child. Should they learn Mandarin? How much Chinese history and culture should they be exposed to? What\u2019s the balance between their birth and adopted cultures? These are questions every family must ask and answer individually. And there\u2019s no right or wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Hulses, for example, are taking an organic rather than structured approach with Jason. \u201cWe don\u2019t deliberately pick and choose what parts of the culture to transmit,\u201d says Mr. Hulse. \u201cWe\u2019ll go where he wants to go when he starts asking questions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To Hulse, just like Jason\u2019s American-born siblings, he\u2019ll absorb those elements of Chinese culture that interest him. And his parents will be there to help him answer whatever questions he has. \u201c[As a non-Chinese parent] you wouldn\u2019t be teaching Chinese culture, you\u2019d be picking what you [personally] want to transmit. If I choose those elements, I\u2019m painting a world that\u2019s partial,\u201d says Hulse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ponek considers learning the Chinese language her daughters\u2019 birthright, but is very clear that even if her children were biological she would raise them exactly the same \u2013 bilingual in English and Chinese.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As for culture, her daughters are learning about Chinese culture but are not culturally Chinese. \u201cTheir culture is their parents\u2019 culture,\u201d says Ponek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But whether a child is adopted or not, just being an expat child creates a cultural mish-mash. The Hulses\u2019 two biological children \u2013 one a high school junior and the other a freshman \u2013 have grown up overseas. So, if the family were to return in the next few years to the U.S., Jason would ultimately have more direct exposure to American culture than his U.S.-born siblings. Says Hulse: \u201cIt\u2019s mind-bending.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"