Admit it. You’ve found yourself swiping right on a few them…
Tinder is a two-player game that statistically benefits women. User data shows that there are more male users who are also more likely to swipe right than their female counterparts. Though girls seem to possess the power of selection, that doesn’t mean they don’t commit the same profile mistakes as guys. A follow-up on The 10 Types of Guys You See On Tinder in Shanghai, here are the 10 women you meet on Tinder in Shanghai.
Human Resources
She knows exactly what she is looking for in her future partner. She specifies physical and personality requirements. Don’t swipe right if you’re less than 6’2, out of shape, unemployed, not well traveled, have any facial hair or don’t own a car. She likes to visit terrace or rooftop bars, where she can people watch, like Flair and CHAR Bar, and complete a full data analysis of you in the five seconds it takes you to walk past her.
The Duck Faced Selfie Snapper
All her pictures are selfies taken at an angle with the phone held way above her head. She may decide to change things up with a bathroom selfie where all eyes are drawn to her filthy sink, or switch between a kissy and duck face. She likes to take selfies in Xintiandi, Tianzifang, and any other place with a colorful wall. Don’t forget to give all the social media accounts she lists in her bio a follow. You wouldn’t want to miss out on her next outing.
Ariel the Mermaid
She lives somewhere under the sea because she only wears bikinis. Does she even own clothes? How does she stay warm in the winter? Can she walk on land? She says that she receives loads of messages so don’t bother if you’re just going to say “hey.” Maybe you should tell her your whole life story in the first message instead? She hits up summer-themed events where wearing only a bikini is semi, not really, socially acceptable. Otherwise, you can find her at Shanghai’s best outdoor pools.
The Ke’ai (可爱) Locals
Her profile consists of selfies edited with the popular Chinese photo editing app Mei Tu Xiu Xiu. Her eyes have been enlarged, her blemishes retouched, her face whitened, and her nose slimmed down. She looks like a living, breathing anime character. She uses emojis and incorrectly punctuated life quotes to hide her lack of proficiency in English. Her night out generally starts at Hao Le Di KTV and ends at Hai Di Lao for late-night hotpot. She is also “very shy person, pls message first <3.”
The Sugarbaby
Her profile picture is a striking mirror selfie of her in a figure-hugging dress and six-inch black stilettos. She is a 10/10 but you’re going to have to pay RMB700/1 hour. There is a shot of her clubbing at Linx with her other attractive escort/model friends. There is another of her dressed in head-to-toe designer labels living it up somewhere in Europe. She also specifies her height and weight so swipers know they’re paying for 165cm and 45kg.
Jailbait
Her age is set as 28 years old, but if her years have taught her anything it’s that lying is bad. That’s why she says “disclaimer I’m actually 16.” She includes high school bathroom selfies and pictures from junior year prom. Tinder serves more as a tool to boost her teenage self-esteem than to meet new people. You can find her in bars like Windows Scoreboard and Perry’s, where she sits at a table with the rest of her clique donning H&M’s new collection.
90’s Grunge Icon
This girl is dressed like Winona Ryder in Reality Bites. Her photos are taken in mysterious blue or red florescent lighting from a light bulb she purchased off Taobao. She experiences late-onset teenage angst and her favorite piece of jewelry is a choker made of safety pins. Her bio lists all her favorite underground music artists that no one has ever heard of because they aren’t very good. She frequents alternative clubs like Elevator and Dada, where you can find her smoking on the couch with the skateboarders in the back.
The Cat/Dog/Any-Furry-Miniature-Creature Lady
A look at this girl’s profile is like taking a visit to the petting zoo. Swipers get a special package deal where they get to play with virtual dogs, cats, hamsters and other cute miniature animals. However, she eventually she got sick of her animal friends and is now “on this app because I’m so bored,” or “can’t believe I’m on Tinder, but whatever.” She frequents cat cafes, pet shops like Pet Zoo, and the Shanghai Zoo.
Miss Congeniality
Her generic profile includes a picture of her on the beach, studying in a café and eating out with her friends. She expresses her aggreable personality in her bio “Love fashion, coffee, movies, food, dogs, and traveling.” She specifies that she is not looking for hook-ups, one-night stands or a relationship but new friends only. She will talk to you forever but you will never actually meet up. Catch Miss Congeniality at Element Fresh or Baker & Spice where she is talking about the global populations’ hobbies and interests.
The Life Coach
The pictures of her boxing, drinking a glass of wine and travelling in Germany are only a glimpse into her life. She tells us her full life story, skipping lines after every five words so you have to scroll down to see her Myers-Briggs personality type. The Life Coach visits healthy food joints like Sproutworks and Pure & Whole. She concludes her story with “If you want deeper conversation with a woman who knows what she wants, I’m for you.” But not until she shares the most important life lesson “Also no sex, looking for something more now.”
